Being Jewish

From email from Harry's Black Hole:

Being Jewish.
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Q: What is a Jewish menage-a-trois
A: Two headaches and an erection.

Q: Why did Adam and Eve have a perfect marriage?
A: He didn't have to hear about all the men she could have married, and she didn't have to hear about the way his mother cooked.

Q: How does a Jewish wife cheat on her husband?
A: She has a headache with the postman.

Q: What business is a yenta in?
A: Yours.

Q: What is a Jewish nymphomaniac?
A: A wife who does her hair and sleeps with her husband on the same day.

Q: How do Jewish wives get their children ready for supper?
A: They put them in the car.

Q: What is the technical term for a divorced Jewish woman?
A: Plaintiff.

Q: What does a Jewish woman do to keep her hands soft and her nails long?
A: Nothing at all.

Q: Define 'genius'
A: An average student with a Jewish mother.

Q: If Tarzan and Jane were Jewish, what would Cheetah be?
A: A fur coat.

Q: What do you call someone who enjoys work and refuses to retire?
A: A meshuggener.

Q: What do you call the nipple on a Jewish wife's breast?
A: The tip of the iceberg.

Q: What mechanical device causes the most arousal in a Jewish woman?
A: A Mercedes Benz 500SL convertible.

Jewish proverb: 'A Jewish wife will forgive and forget, but she'll never forget what she forgave.'