SSL is for goyim

Following Pomegranate's example, they were smart enough to take the form down, Mountain Fruit now has an online order form, with a credit card section, all being submitted without SSL.
I'm guessing that they decided that SSL is a goyish meshugas and that all you need is faith in Hashem who will personally protect their customers' credit cards.
Now, I'm guessing that besides the lack of SSL, all of the credit card information is either being emailed to someone or stored, unencrypted, in an easily accessible database.
On the other hand, someone stupid enough to submit credit card info online without taking the bother to notice whether the page is secure or not, deserves what they get.

I emailed Mountain Fruit regarding the "oversite" at 11:16am, let's see what happens next.

Mikvah stories

While I miss pepperoni, for me, one of the most annoying aspects of orthodox Judaism is toiveling.  Really hate having to beg someone for something.  Especially when there's a good chance the guy will be an asshole about it.

Sunday, we went to Japan Day and Japan Block Fair.  At the block fair, I bought a set of 10 rice/soup bowls.  This morning, I decided to go with Nochum to toivel them.

I asked the owner of the store if I can toivel my stuff and he just snapped and went on a rant of how he will not throw me out today but that I should not come back there because the mikvah is for customers only.  And on and on about how I should toivel it where I bought it or go to a public mikvah or toivel it where I bought and not use his mikvah and on and on.

Why didn't I tell him off and leave?  Wanted to use the bowls for shabbat and didn't know if I'd have the opportunity to go to Happy Home or Buzz to toivel them there.

Is the guy pissed off about people not buying?  Well, here's the difference between his place and Happy Home.  Happy Home is expensive, but, they sell quality merchandise and the owner doesn't complain or look at you nasty if you ask if you can toivel something.  This store, on the other hand, while also being expensive, sells the same crap as Amazing Saving but at twice the price and is, in addition, dirty and products are lying around haphazardly.

Mikvah for customers only?  How about for mitzvah?  It's not like I'm doing it for fun or have much of a choice.  The end result?  I will never buying anything from this store again.  Also, on the way out, I saw a $50 hot water urn, which, after the guy's nasty behavior, I will buy somewhere else.

P.S. Even though I said thank you before, as I was leaving, the guy started yelling after me that I should say thank you.

Marriage Crisis

A friend, who recently got married, was talking to a single friend. The single friend said that it's cool that she married a guy from her shul. My friend replied that yes, it is and that the single friend should participate in singles mixers in order to meet a guy. This single friend only does the Elders of Zion approved shidduch dating. The married friend also mentioned that it's already the third marriage that resulted from mixed talking after shul and during kiddush. To this, the single friend spat back that "Your shul needs a shadchan!"

Me thinks this single friend is confusing singles mixers with singles orgies. Probably thinks my friend's shul is a "wretched hive of scum and villainy".

Am I not getting something? Is the shadchan needed to make sure that any unsuitable marriages not take place? To prevent undue mingling? To make sure the shul doesn't keep its' singles to itself and instead share them with the outside world? Huh? People not getting married, bad. People getting married, also bad? What?

I've commented on several posts that a lot of my friends married their girlfriends/boyfriends and did it without the aid of any shadchans. If you want to get married, go do something about it yourself! What makes people think that their mommies and shadchans will find someone for them? The mommies will look for a spouse for their kidult that they themselves will like. While the shadchans' main concern is to move inventory, earn money and keep any damaged goods out of the system.

Want to stay single? Use only the Elders of Zion approved dating method, complain about every potential match and blame the system. Want to get married? Do something about it!

Gornisht

Just came home from a friend's birthday party. A lot of food, booze, good company. The event was held at Benny's on Ocean Avenue and Avenue M. The place is under Rabbi Gornish.

As we're sitting and eating, a frummie couple walks in. Penguin suit and all. The hashgocha is posted in the window and is hard to miss and if you missed it, why would you even go in. They look around and decide to sit down. Then they start grilling the waiter on the origins of the establishment's chicken. Even after being told it's Rubashkin, and after wasting the waiter's time with their moronic questions, they just left without eating.

The guy looked familiar. I wouldn't be surprised if they're psycho BTs. Before you go into a restaurant, you check the hashgocha. If you trust the hashgocha, sit down, shut up, and eat. If you don't trust the hashgocha, what are you even doing there?! And if you don't trust the hashgocha, who says the staff aren't gonna lie to you about where their meat comes from. And if you're an idiot who takes upon himself every chumra he hears about, what are you even doing in a meat restaurant, or any kind of restaurant.

Advertising:
If you're an entrepreneur or business owner who needs help with the "little tasks" in your business (making & confirming appointments, booking travel, sending gifts and cards to your clients, updating your Twitter, LinkedIn, Blog, Facebook, & YouTube accounts, and more), you can now have an Ivy League-educated, former Fortune-500 employee assist you.

Secretary in Israel will match with you an American virtual executive assistant to work with you on a part-time basis (as few as 5 hours/week). Working with your new virtual executive assistant will enable you to focus on what you do best--meeting with your clients--while she handles the rest!

Buyer beware: e-worlddirect aka M & B Supplies Inc aka Upstate Computers Corp

My wife made a purchase from e-worlddirect. They charged her credit card and changed order status to "processed". 2 weeks later, nothing. She contacts them, is promised the order will ship ASAP. Week later contacts them again and is again told the order will ship ASAP. A shipping label is created with UPS. We wait several days, UPS shows that packaged has still not been submitted. We contact BBB. Company tells BBB that they're very sorry and that they will issue a refund. Wife talks to them on the phone and they tell her they will credit back the order. It's now over 2 months since initial order and no refund has been made.

Now here's the fun part. Credit card charge was not from e-worlddirect, but from M & B Supplies, Inc, a computer supplies company in Monroe with listed contact being Sam Krausz. On a different site, president of company is listed as Sara Krausz. On a different site, when searching by phone number listed next to the credit card charge, 845-782-4306, the company is now Upstate Computers Corp. with president Sara Krausz.

I wonder, maybe my wife should've used her Jewish name when contacting this company.

No ma'am, I don't support banditry

This week there was something very interesting at Daf Yomi.  Too bad all those rabbis who are telling their students that all of them must go to kollel and working is evil never learned this.

This is from Kiddushin, page lamed (30) side beis (2).

The father is obligated to teach his son a craft.  From where do we know this?  Chizkiya said: "For the verse states: See life with the woman whom you love."  Life connotes craft (for a livelihood) and is here next to woman.  If "woman" is to be understood literally, then just as the father is obligated to find his son a wife, he is obligated to teach him a craft.  If, on the other hand, "woman" is to be understood allegorically to mean Torah, then just as the father is obligated to teach his son Torah, he's obligated to teach him a craft.

Rabbi Yehuda says that anyone who does not teach his son a craft, teaches him banditry.

Gemara asks if this is what he really meant and answers that what he meant was that it's as if he teaches him banditry.  Since his son doesn't know how to do anything, his only means for supporting himself is by stealing.

Gemara places Torah, wife and a job on the same level and obligates the father in all three equally.  No one comes to defend the father and say that he should get his son a rich father in law or that the son should steal money from the government or go collecting charity or sitting and praying onto G-d to fedex him money every month.  Just as you're supposed to teach your son Torah and to get him a wife, you're supposed to teach how to go out and earn an honest living.  The response of today's yeshiva rabbis is a two prong attack on this "fallacy".  One, condemn secular education, the one needed for getting a job, as evil and not part of Torah leaving.  Two, condemn working people as criminals who are wasting their time working instead of learning Torah.

My cousin works as prison guard in Colorado.  I was talking to him on the phone and he asked me "Did you know how many Jew are in prison?!", "Yeah, wanna know why?"

Will someone please think of the children!

Jacob Da Jew posted our kids' Parshat Quiz a week ago.  I found something even better.

A couple weeks ago, Mike In Midwood, was by my house for shabbat.  One of the things we talked about was yeshivas, as in where should I send my son.  I mentioned that I went to Chaim Berlin and that it had pretty good education.  All of our teachers, except for dee dee dee computer teacher who was probably someone's relative and knew as much about computers as the secretary, were public school teachers and knew their material.  Granted, it was 15 years ago and I was in grades 9-12, but I just couldn't believe Mike's claim that now it's much, much worse.  Until, that is, I found this gem in my shul.  The "rabbi" is rebbe M.J.  The whole thing is handwritten, apparently he doesn't know how to use a computer either.  I think his Ds look like Gs, or he's even worse than he appears...Also, it took wife and me a lot of rereading to decypher the horrible "penmanship".  BTW, those are not paragraphs, they're pages.

Dear Very Very special [choshev] parents [?].

Boroch Hashem An outher Wonderfull Happy SuGsesfull Week went true Every Tzadik is so Happy a Hall day in class in yeshiva What That is the Most inportent They Should Be Happy and The Happyness Will Bring [?] Good Rezults.

Now a little up date why your Tzadik is so exsiteit To Go To yeshiva To learn Torah! #1 When They Come in The Morning He is not skerd To Come There is no Prashair Rebbe is not Standing By the door with a SourFace Why DiD you Come So Late ITS All Ready "9:01" Next Time Waik up earlyair and Come Airleair!! U - Understand!!  The Wold in chinuch Has To No That its Never To Late!!!!!

We Even Have Time To Give Them To eat BeFor Davining And Learning Brakfast is Being Served Every Morning Bread Juice milk Hot CoCo Some Times WHen THere is "PainCakes" THe Last Few Days I Addit SomeTHink New its Corn Flakes - Y NoT!  THen WE STart Learning THe HayLiGe ToraH THe HayKiGe Alef Bais LeTTers THe FounDayTion OF THere LIFE!!!  WE Do IT Many Ways ON THe Big [next page] ALEF BAis CHart ON THe Bord - We Do it in THe  Alef Bais SayFers THe MAin THink is ITs Don WiTH Lov, MAke THeM LoV THe ToraH THaTs OUR JoB!!!!

LETs Be THem [mekarev] Kiruv Now!!!

ITs [some hebrew capital letters] Talking ABout [same hebrew script letters] I Can Right A Couple of SForim!!

And IF I Want To RiGHT IT ON PAper THe Copy MeSHin WiLL Have To Run FoR ourS!!!!! WHat I Have To Say!!

We Are NoW in Full Swing OF PracTeasing THe ALeF Bais LeTTERS THe Sonds OF EACH [nekuda] We ARe PuTTing ToGeTHer LeTTers WiTH N'KUDoS [ZU TZA A].........

We Do IT BoTH Ways THe puzzel Way And THe TaTe Way [my fingers hurt capitalizing the letters he capitalized so from here on all letters will be small] witch ever ever way he does it now is fine just watch him and lisin good how he pernonce's everything.

But I have great "Miricle" news to tell you l'kovod shabbos mvorchim chodesh kislev that a lot of tzadikim from the class are reading all ready like a tate b.h.!!!

I am not rushing at this time qw just have to cuntinyou practeasing and practeasing and practeasing like my Rebbe used to say practice makes perfect!!!!!!

yiras shomayim up date

yes there isint a day rebbe shouldint skrim say where is the yiras shumayim? And all [choshuv] parents should tell their that at home and all over where we go we most have yiras shumayim and no that hashem is all over in the winter in the summer ALL OVER!!

I will have to cut a little short on the news letter

The tzadikim want to make now oneg shabes "shabes party" they are all skriming "Pop Corn Pop Corn PopCorn...

I would like to take this uppertonity to wish all [choshuv] parents and family you should all have [hebrew here]

[on next page picture with following label]  Cloud in top of Suru's House

questions and answers of this week's parsha

1. whats the name of this week's parsha = [chaya sora]

2. how many years did [sara] live  = 127 years

3. how many [nisim] did hashem make in [sara's] house = 3

4. when [sara] used to light the candels for shabos. how long did it burn = from one shabos until the next one

5. when she used to bake the [chalos] for shabos what happend with the small peace ov doe = it got very big

(I didn't skip 6, it's not there)

7. what was in top ov [sara's] house = a cloud

8. what happend when [sara] closed her eys = the clouds when away, the candels burned out, the.

9. where did they put [sara] after she died = in the [meores hamachpeyla]

10. from whom did they buy [meores  hamachpeyla] = from mr [ephron]

11. how much (gelt) money did the [meores  hamachpeyla] coast = $400 silver dalers

12. what was the name of [avraham avinu's] helper = [eliezer]

13. what did [avraham avinu] tell for [eliezer] to look for yitzchok = [a kallah]

14. who gave the water to drink for the camel's = [rivka]

15. what did [eliezer] give for [rivka] for giveing the water = prezents

16. who was the [chosson] = [yitzhak]

17. who was the [kallah] = [rivka]

18. how young was. [rivka] when she got a [kallah] = 3 years young

19. what was the name ov [rivka's] father = [besuel]

20. was he a very good man = (no answer here)

21. did he want [rivka] shoud get mayrid to yitzchok = ov korse - not

22. what did he put into the plait = [?] poisent

23. what did the [malach] do to the plait = he chainged it around the end was [besuel] ate the poisent

(nothing skipped and pages stapled together, go figure)

85. how do you say a [bunch of hebrew words]

86. this belongs reely for [shevuos] time lets just try if your [tzadikim] know it.  please tell me

how do you say the sound of a [tzadik, shin, nun, etc]

what did hashem do with the [hey]

the rest the coming week [hebrew]

songs' of the week

yitzchok ovinu was the [choson] rivku emayn was the [kallah]

o-it was a nice [chaseneh]

o-it was a big [chasaneh]

And now my fingers hurt and I have a headache.  Barf.

Derech Eretz

Last Thursday, my wife and I witnessed a new level of hutzpa from a yeshiva bochur.

We were returning home on a bus from, now weekly, visit to her OB. We were sitting on two of the three sits at the front of the bus that are reserved for the elderly and disabled. The third seat was occupied by a ten to twelve year old yeshiva bochur who was playing with his cell phone. At one of the stops, an elderly woman came in. First she stood in front of the kid to see if he will let her have the seat. Getting no reaction, she asked him if she could have the seat. What happened next was something I have never seen in my whole life. Not only did the little bastard not get up, he had the audacity to indicate to the woman that it's his seat and he was there first. It's too bad it's illigal to post pictures of children, otherwise this post would've been accompanied by a few good shot of the parasite.

The parents expect the yeshiva to teach their kids derech eretz and the yeshiva makes sure to teach them that anyone that doesn't look like them is no better than an animal.

My wife is 8 months pregnant. Who gives her a seat? Blacks and Hispanics. Frummies, at most, look up, see nothing interesting and continue sitting.

The day sucked even more because I lost my DS Lite, either at the OB office or on the bus.

Yeshiva Math

Here we see a prime example of why yeshivas need better math.

This sign makes no sense no matter where it's hanging.  Whether where it is now, on ave M or even if it would be a block away from the store.

Does the sign mean that the store is so great that after taking the subway there, you'll never want leave?  Or, perhaps, the prices are so bad that after your "$200" discount, you wont have any money left for the return trip?  Is the sign actually 18-22 years old, when the subway was $2, and was stuck in interdimensional limbo until now?  Does the genius who came up with this sign know that the bus costs the same as the train.

No matter how you look at it and what logic you use, this sign makes absolutely no sense.  Chuck another one for the great yeshiva edumacation system.

You're not in Kansas anymore

Last night, I spent a couple minutes looking at the calendar in Mountain Fruit, trying to figure out what's wrong with it and why are they open on shabbat morning and on Yom Kippur.  Maybe it took me so long because it was 10PM, maybe because it was something I've never seen before.  The bloody thing was right to left!!!  Though at least they used Arabic numerals.

I've gotten calendars from different organizations asking for money and all of them were left to right, even if everything was in Hebrew.  I've never seen something like this before and never want to see it again, especially not in a store, showing store hours.  Are calendars in Israel printed like this or is this a very late, or very early, April Fools' joke.

Plastic yisroel cups

Why settle for plastic stam cups when you can buy plastic yisroel and ensure that you Pesach is chometz free.

When you use plastic stam cups on Pesach, you face the real danger of using something that contains chometz. A worker may have been eating chometz and accidentally dropped it into the vat of molten plastic. A rodent, carrying chometz may have fallen in at any point of the manufacturing process. Would you risk drinking from something that may contain rat, or, worst of all, chometz?

At our factory, we have mashgichim stationed at every critical area of the manufacturing process to ensure that such accidents never happen. We pride ourselves on manufacturing the best, cleanest and chometz free plastic yisroel cups possible.

Don't give in to your yetzer hara, buy plastic yisroel!

Digital picture frames on shabbos

I was looking through the google analytics stats for my sites and noticed something very peculiar. Someone ended up on my main site by searching for "digital picture frames on shabbos". What I really want to know is the reason someone might search for this. Did some frummy decide that for some insane reason picture frames might be a problem on shabbos? Why would it be a problem? I can't even come up with a bad excuse, forget about a good one. Air conditioner is not a problem, neither is the crock pot or water urn. So what's wrong with a digital frame?

I have a digital frame which I turn on specifically for shabbos. Once I started using a digital camera, I don't make prints anymore. After everyone's been complaining on and on about no pictures of my son from the day he was born, I decided that a digital picture frame is cheaper and more innovative than printing pictures. After I bought the frame, I bought frames for our parents so they would also get off my back and stop asking me to print pictures for them.

A digital picture frame is a great gadget to have. Buy one, at least 7", loaded with pictures and place it within view of your shabbos table!

Pesach now, Insanity later

Just had a conversation with one of my psycho frummy bal tshuva friends. This guy goes to feel good lectures and listens to tapes, however, when it comes to learning halacha, looks like it's too boring for him. This is actually the same conversation, about the same topic and the same store I had with him last year. He wanted to get something to eat and asked me if I know of any places that are still open. I told him he can get sushi on avenue M or if not too lazy, drive to Shoprite. Shoprite is, I'm pretty sure, owned by a Jew and sells sushi under a good hashgocha. He tells me that he's not sure if the owner sold the chometz properly so you can't buy sushi there. What?! I tell him that, one, there's a good hashgocha there and two, sushi is not chometz, though soy sauce is. His reply is that the hashgocha is only there for the cooking and you can't trust them to make sure that the store sold chometz properly and that you can't buy sushi because chometz might not have been sold properly. No point arguing with this guy since he's not much interested in learning halacha, he loves chumras though, so I just left. Last year he said he wants to ask a Rabbi, same thing he said this year and same thing he'll say next year.

There are plenty of books and online sources for halacha. If you want to know, you can find out or you ask a rabbi or go to a shiur. What infuriates me is that these people don't know halacha, gonna argue with you because you're not a rabbi and apparently know nothing because of that and they're not gonna bother asking or finding out themselves. One happy thought is that for them, ignorance is not bliss. Out of their own stupidity and stubbornness they're going to make their own lives worse.

Holier than thou

Every year, for the first seder, we go to the shul's community seder. This year was no exception. I'm famous for bringing my own wine, always having a corkscrew, bringing my own cups, home-made morror and, for the past two year, sashimi. This year, unfortunately, I forgot my sashimi at home, though one of my friends brought some cured salmon, a recipe I replicated for the last two days.

We had a family in shul, they stopped coming a while back, where the wife was quiet known for her frumminess and her isms. This year, they decided to join the seder and were sitting right behind me. I overheard her asking someone else at their table to open a bottle for her because their minchag is not to open bottles. This was on Yom Tov. I just couldn't let that go. I turned around and asked her why would she say something so ridiculous as not opening bottles on Yom Tov?! She told me that they used to go to one family when they were becoming religious and that family didn't open bottles on Yom Tov and since they're following their minchagim, they also don't open bottles on Yom Tov.

I told her a story of mine about me and another guy going to a shabbaton. Our host was this psycho frummie bal teshuva who kept telling us how humble he is by become frum, even though his father's a millionaire. He spent the whole shabbat telling us about how humble he is. He also decided to educate the stupid russkies about hilchos shabbos. Apparently you're not allowed to remove a dirty plate from the table, unless you place a piece of bread on it. He was presenting this as a halocha. This is what you get when someone thinks that if he learns gemorah, he doesn't need to learn halochos. This guy, however, didn't have a minchag of eating suedat shlishi, even though it's in gemorah too.

I told the woman that the point of my story is that there are minchagim and there are personal chumras, frequently based on ignorance. A minchag is something that a lot of people do and it's generally accepted, this is quiet the opposite of a personal chumra. She told me that it is so a minchag and since their friends have followed it, they will follow it too. Incidentally, I'm pretty sure her rabbi will disagree with her on this. This quiet pissed me off and I told her that her friends don't know halocha and based their chumra on ignorance and that she doesn't know halochas either. She harrumphed and turned to her table.

Opening bottles on shabbat is a hotly contested topic with many holding that you can and many holding that you can't. Sephardim are allowed and even by ashkenazim, many agree that if the bottle cap will be thrown away or is punctured, opening is ok. I have not heard or been able to find any opinion that says you can't open bottle on Yom Tov. Uneducated frummies will always find some way to make their life difficult.