Sadistic Russian poetry

• Дети в подвале играли в больницу —
  Умер от родов сантехник Синицын.
  
  Kids in the basement were totally bored
  Decided to role play maternity ward
  Plumber Senitzin screamed for all he was worth
  Died he, unfortunately, while giving birth
  
• Дети в подвале играли в гестапо —
  Зверски замучен сантехник Потапов.
  
  Kids in the basement were playing Gestapo.
  Tortured to death was plumber Potapov.

Don't call me

I don't make purchases from turquoise food processors
My walls are bleeding cheese and slivers of moonlight
It's your fault and I will stab you with a wave of green bunnies

Can I get this to go

Your comical appearance

Is creating an uncomfortable silence

If you'll change

Dogs will sing your praise

And we can go hunt headless sparrows

At the corner bakery

Spellchecked

Spelling ease quiet

Import and, eve ewe wand two

Gate yore pond a cross

Mafia Wars/Vampire Wars Halloween loot

Five days of searching
Why does RNG hate me
I can haz loot too

Presenting NY's present.

NY smells stinky.
Go to change him.
Diaper only wet.
Turn to get new diaper.
Turn back with new diaper.
Present on the onesie.
$#^$!!!
NY happy about present, me, not so much.