Thursday, July 9, 2009

Ban #23940 - Biblical names

It is assur to give your children names from Torah because goyim do it too. You should only give your children Yiddish names, otherwise they'll go off the derech and intermarry with goyim with biblical names whom they will find on FaceBook.

28 comments:

  1. You are joking, right? Aside from all the other nonesence, those puffed up snoby ignoramuses do not even know the origins of most of these idiotic Yiddish names. And, of course, moronic hypocracy will not take the children off the derech, biblical names will! Sheer genius!

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  2. The way things are, this joke may soon become a reality...

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  3. eh, i'm up to ban #23941 already: underwear is assur because goyyim wear underwear

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  4. Ban was only on red underwear.

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  5. How about black langerie? That used to be the purvue of prostitutes only; shouldn't they inspect all the "heimishe" stores selling women's undies?

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  6. They should have street inspectors, just to be sure.

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  7. Have you SEEN heimishe lingerie stores? Some pretty racy stuff (relatively), but overpriced and crap quality.

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  8. Been in the back of the place on New Utrecht and 60th or 59th or something. Installed surveillance by them. The stuff in the back is even better than what's in the front.

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  9. Well....a lot of people do use Facebook to check out and meet people of the opposite sex, nothing wrong with that as long as they're single, but I can see why the ultra-orthodox might ban that.

    About Biblical names, it is true that many goyim do this, but I find them to be very classy and simple.

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  10. It's a joke dude.
    Though the way things are getting banned left and right...who knows...

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  11. Where are Yiddish names from? what are they?

    my cousins kids from lakewood would call Hebrew Yiddish, by saying their "Yiddish birthday" is so and so, when really it's their Hebrew birthday.

    The ban wouldn't work, since biblical names are from the Torah, and we had that first. The goyim copied us, so it's safe to use it. While other things where goyim had it first and then we copy might be a problem. Although depends what it is. Cause then Microsoft, and all kinds of Non Jewish stuff would be banned. But then Chachma Bagoyim Taamin. Where it's for our good, we are supposed to use it.

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  12. Actually, Yiddish names aren't Jewish either.

    Any ban works when the Elders of Zion are involved. Regarding Microsoft, FS got your answer.

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  13. All jokes aside, there is Israeli guy in my shul whos brother frummed up. So, this brother had to legally change his last name or children wouldn't be accepted into Israeli (girl and boy) Yeshivahs because their names are zionist. This brother lives in Israel, I might add.

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  14. Moshe anything you could possibly think of was already thought of and implemented by the frummies. I still can't get over the fact that phones were banned back in the beginning of the last century. Or that potatoes were deemed kitnious about 3 or 4 hundred years ago.

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  15. It is FBS, and you know it!
    Why do you live in Crooklyn?
    Move to the place of normalcy, maybe...
    Leib Shmukler

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  16. It's Fetal Bovine Serum?!
    I hope not!

    I would, but I like convenience.

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  18. Convenience?
    Avenue "J" is a convenience?
    Filthy "Coney Island Avenue?"
    Why is the Eiruv on the Sabbath opposed, viciously at that by Vitaliks, Binskys, etc.?
    You have children; doesn't your wife want to go to the REAL Synagogue(not "your" "shul" maybe?)?

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  19. See, you need to learn English.

    Convenience (n)
    1. The quality of being suitable to one's comfort, purposes, or needs: the convenience of living near shops, schools, and libraries.
    2. Personal comfort or advantage: services that promote the customer's convenience.

    Don't really care about the eiruv.
    What we don't want to do is go to some redneck shul in Texas.

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  20. I have Aspergers and cannot associate "Coney Island Avenue" with any "comfort" and/or "advantage".
    "Redneck shul" is a contradiction in terms: rednecks are American and Christians, not you or I.
    BTW, In my Synagogue, the stay in kollel is limited to 5 years only, NO MOLESTATION SCANDALS, no chumros whatsoever and people are very nice to each other and to all people, Jews or not-Jews, AND NOBODY BANS NOTHING!
    Although the Synangogue is two years "younger" then KMY, they built a huge, beautifull modern building, you can check it here; www.ohrhatorahdallas.org.
    Forget about KMY; do you know ANY place that is as kinn, as emphatic and as meaningfull.
    P.S. Extension of the Statute of Limitation on the civil claims against New York Yeshivoth("The Child Victim Act") will likely result in closing them down.
    If you still want an authentic Jewish education check www.tdsd.org or www.akibadallas.org

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  21. A redneck shul is a redneck shul.
    Why would I move somewhere that has no restaurants or stores?
    No molestation because rednecks keep it in the family.

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  22. What is "redneck" exactly?
    Rude? Obnoxious? Hostile?
    That's Brooklyn!
    If there would be anything comparable to the Brooklyn molestation scandals, even "in the family", it would have been known. It's not.
    There are plenty of KOSHER restaurants in Dallas, all listed in Shamash.org Directory.

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  23. 9 is plenty?! 9?! And half of those are stores with takeout counters, not restaurants! And no Asian food!
    Have you rednecks even heard of sushi?! I'm not even talking about sukiyaki or miso or soba.

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  24. Moshe: do you know this person? or he's a random commenter?

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  25. Yeah, he used to go to my shul years back.
    Usually, trolls are random commenters, this one, unfortunately, isn't.

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  26. ahh interesting, ok makes sense, so I'm assuming he's your friend on Facebook?

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