Sunday, November 16, 2008

Derech Eretz

Last Thursday, my wife and I witnessed a new level of hutzpa from a yeshiva bochur.

We were returning home on a bus from, now weekly, visit to her OB. We were sitting on two of the three sits at the front of the bus that are reserved for the elderly and disabled. The third seat was occupied by a ten to twelve year old yeshiva bochur who was playing with his cell phone. At one of the stops, an elderly woman came in. First she stood in front of the kid to see if he will let her have the seat. Getting no reaction, she asked him if she could have the seat. What happened next was something I have never seen in my whole life. Not only did the little bastard not get up, he had the audacity to indicate to the woman that it's his seat and he was there first. It's too bad it's illigal to post pictures of children, otherwise this post would've been accompanied by a few good shot of the parasite.

The parents expect the yeshiva to teach their kids derech eretz and the yeshiva makes sure to teach them that anyone that doesn't look like them is no better than an animal.

My wife is 8 months pregnant. Who gives her a seat? Blacks and Hispanics. Frummies, at most, look up, see nothing interesting and continue sitting.

The day sucked even more because I lost my DS Lite, either at the OB office or on the bus.

45 comments:

  1. Why didn't you bitch-slap that lowlife?

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  2. Dude, bitch slap a ten year old on a bus full of people? Great idea!

    I gave my seat to the woman and we spent the rest of the ride dissing the little bastard. He didn't seem to care much.

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  3. What do you expect? This is a generation of effrontery. Out with the old and in with the new. I wonder how the kid will like it when he is old?

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  4. Lost DS Lite? Sux.
    But gam zu letova - at least your fingers will stop hurting from playing the tiny Guitar Hero

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  5. True dat. But now I was playing Final Fantasy IV and was playing for like a month, trying to get 100% of everything. :'-(

    Nintendo is coming out with DSi. It will have everything that was missing from DS that PSP had. Bigger screens, internal web browser, direct downloads, video, pictures, music and 2 cameras. Unfortunately, it's gonna cost 50% more and not coming out in US until mid 2009. Also no support for GBA and that means Guitar Hero won't work with it. :-(

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  6. The kids an idiot. I have seen some ruthless old people on board, screaming at everyone to move faster.

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  7. Sadly, mean and ignorant people breed little mean and ignorant people. Sometimes, when I'm in the mood I try to educate them re: chilul Hashem and such but usually they ignore the education for the same reasons they need this education in the first place...
    PS When I was pregnant and used public transportation, the only ones who'd get up for me were middle aged white ladies...

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  8. What a brat. Blacks, hispanics and middle-aged women are the only ones who stand up and offer me a seat when I get on the bus. I've actually made very good eye contact with frum men, expecting them to see my huge belly and offer me their seat. Instead they just look down and then pretend to fall asleep. Pathetic.

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  9. My pet peeve is when they hide their refusal to give up a seat behind a gemorrah. Look, dude, I know you saw me, no need to perpetuate the bad stereotype. So just take out your Palm Pilot or iPod or a newspaper or simply pretend to nod off.

    I have a personal favorite re: this topic, but it's too long, so maybe I'll blog about it one day.

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  10. Like father, like son.

    The gemorrah reader we encountered on the subway.

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  11. Oh yeah. My best story about this was when I was about 8 months pregnant, on a crowded subway, and the ONLY person who tried to give me a seat was a black young woman - who looked about 6 months pregnant. Oh, and the 2 middle-aged Russian men who saw me standing there and spent half the ride talking about, should they get up, and would I throw a fit if they didn't, and how women feel so entitled these days. Finally, I addressed them in Russian and begged them not to trouble themselves, since I could never accept a seat from persons so obviously elderly and decrepit. They had the grace to at least look embarassed.

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  12. Dina,

    This conversation strikes me as a bit odd because where these men still in Russia, they would've been yelled at by other passengers, most likely elderly women, for not giving up a seat to a preggie (a scene I have witnessed many times while living there). But LOL about your response. This is the stuff I normally only dream of doing.

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  13. The kid is disgusting.

    Its a shame there are people like that.

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  14. Subwife, I was surprised myself for exactly the same reason. Perhaps they have conflated freedom from communist oppression with freedom from common courtesy.

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  15. Subwife and Dina: Were either of you pregnant in Russia or one of the former USSR republics that you seem to know so well that people religiously give up seats to preggies?

    It's about time you stopped idealizing the step-mother country...

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  16. not idealizing, & actually I don't think they do that now. But I remember seeing people do it all the time, right away, for someone older or pregnant, or a little kid.

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  17. I wouldn't be surprised if they still do it in Eastern former USSR.

    And Sally, we're all from the same city and when we were there, people were civilized. Ask your parents if you don't remember. :-P

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  18. moshe- you're probably right that ppl in the former USSR countries would give up seats for preggies. but not b/c they're any nicer than frummies but because its so uncommon to see pregnant women there they can't help but give up their seats.
    afterall...the population is slowly dying out and the only hope they have left is the pregnant woman and he hope that she doesn't move
    frummies see pregnant women so often they take it for granted.

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  19. Are you serious?!

    When I was there, 19 years ago, kids were taught by both parents and schools to respect elderly, disabled, preggars, etc.

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  20. they told u to respect elders? the very ppl who would deny ppl above the age of like 50 an ambulance because they're old?

    about pregnant woman like I said the average russian had and still has one kid. that's IF they even have a kid. they don't see pregnant women all over the place.
    I see pregnant women all the time. while I do offer them my seat on the train or bus, I still do think I'm not as sensitive to seeing or even looking out for them as I would be hadi been living in a country that recently came up with an annual conceive day.

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  21. The kid was probably one of the rebellious type. These kids don't like some aspect of their world and rebel against everything they are taught, throwing out the baby with the bucket.Also in many frum circles the only value that is emphasized is learning gemara and everything else is assumed to follow naturally from learning and therefore is assumed to require no mention.

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  22. Dunno when you got to work, but when I used to work outside of home, I very seldom saw pregnant women. Maybe on the bus, but not on the subway.

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  23. Moshe, you are right, We are from the same city where as kids were were tought by "parents and schools to respect elderly, disabled, preggars" and small animals.
    I don't remember seeing 1/4 of disabled there as I see here.
    I distinctly remember my pregnant mom being shoved against a counter by some lady who wanted to get whatever-it-was-we-were-standing-in-line-for before my mom.
    Babies weren't in vogue there hence not as many preggies who needed the seat.
    We lived in a 'cultured' city where it was a matter of pride for some men to be chivalrous.
    And, I was in the Eastern part of former USSR a few years ago and rode on their metro. It gave me a sense of renewed appreciation of NYC subway system as inperfect as it may seem...

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  24. Sally - what is wrong with their subway. I always heard that it's superior to NY's? I'm really curious.

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  25. I had a similar incident but with a non Jewish boy. He cursed at my mom and I told him that I'll smack the hell out of him. He was really annoying and he told me if I touch him he would report it as "child abuse". I told him to go back to his little hole and called him the scum of the earth.

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  26. Dina,

    I am totally with you. It's easier to say something when it's not about you getting a seat.

    Sally,

    I must have missed the memo re: stopping to idealize the step-mother country. I thought I still had two weeks or so. Shoot, should've double checked with you first.

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  27. mlevin, Don't remember the whole list.. hmm, no AC in the cars, and a very noisy ride still stuck in my memory...

    Subwife, Acid reflux?

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  28. Sally,

    No, I just take exception to people telling how I should feel or what I should think. Reminds me too much of the step-mother country...

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  29. No mudslinging outside of a mud-pit! ;-)

    *ducks*

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  30. Well 10-12 is still young. I have siblings that age, and come to think of it I don't think they would know to get up. I wish they did. It's true, we think it's the school's job to teach them derech eretz. I think it's the generation. I dunno. But by me, I just knew these stuff, it was common sense how to act. Nowadays I'm not so sure. The kids became very self centered and they think their on top of the world and that everything is coming to them.

    But that definitely is chutzpah the way he responded, I can't believe it.

    Sorry about you loosing your DS Lite.

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  31. You're kidding, right? I was 10 when I left and I knew how to behave and what's right and wrong. 10 is not 3 or the parents are doing a very bad job.

    It is common sense, at least it should be. I'm amazed how people nowadays do something that, when done to them, would have them screaming and cursing. If you don't like it, why would you think others would. People just don't think and don't care.

    Yeah, suck. Sucks even more that I lost a month of play time, more than the price of the DS and the game. By the time DSi price gonna drop, if it will, it's gonna be next December :-(

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  32. you know, I used to get up for people when I was 7. But that's just 'cause I'm old and everything was just better in the good old days in good old Mother Russia.

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  33. Well, except for the walking to school in 10 feet of snow, uphill, both way. And in Moscow, this was no joke.

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  34. Seriously, I walked to school in a blizzard!

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  35. I got one of my valenki stuck in a pile of snow. Granted, I was an idiot for sticking my foot there, still.

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  36. Is it really illegal to post pictures of children? Man I may get in trouble. I would have slapped the kid or something.

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  37. I believe it is. Dina?
    Well, we spent the rest of the ride talking with the old lady about how nasty kids are nowadays but he didn't look like he cared.

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  38. Moshe: unfortunately I'm not kidding. Your right, 10 is an age when a child should know write from wrong. Maybe they do know and just too selfish to do the right thing.

    "If you don't like it, why would you think others would."

    Exactly what Hillel said. "veahafta Lareach Hakamocha..."

    "People just don't think and don't care"

    True.

    "I lost a month of play time"

    Umm, how does that harm you? if it's in the past. You need to play for some reason? or it's just something you like doing?

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  39. It's in the past but I never finished the game because I was trying to get all the very rare items that transfer into game+.

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  40. "...should know write from wrong."

    And you should know what's right to write and what's wrong. ;-)

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  41. ahh I see, that is annoying.

    oops, I can't believe I did that.

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  42. Yep, you gotta right correctly if you want to be write. ;-)

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  43. Today, it was a young, married hassidish woman who decided not to stand up. I hope she enjoys standing when she gets pregnant.

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