Sunday, June 21, 2009

Trust issues?

Had an argument with someone about trusting your spouse with talking on facebook with someone of opposite sex. Vote, comment.

Poll results:

Mind husband talking 10 (31%)
Don't mind husband talking 6 (18%)
Mind wife talking 6 (18%)
Don't mind wife talking 10 (31%)

19 comments:

  1. what does it mean to talk on facebook

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  2. It has I/M for like half a year already.

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  3. Voted but I'm not married yet to say it for sure

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  4. I'm a jealous person and it doesn't bother me when my husband says he was talking to a female friend on Facebook. (And it doesn't bother him when I talk to a male friend).

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  5. it depends on if the spouse im ing is doing this secretively or if their spouse is aware. i didnt vote though . i cant judge how id feel if i were married.

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  6. Not doing it secretively. Vote on how you feel about it now.

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  7. Depends what kind of talking. If there's an inkling of flirtatiousness on either side, it's wrong.

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  8. Moshe -- the argument isn't about trust issues.

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  9. You don't have one for "depends"....

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  10. "Then care to elaborate?" -- Even though I wasn't the one who had the argument with you originally and I can't speak for that person, here is what I think.

    Even if you trust your spouse, there is just something not entirely right with married men and women talking to each other online. It's one thing to leave a comment on a blog, but it's another thing to have actual conversations. In marriage, there is the idea of exclusivity. Even though someone's spouse might trust him/her, it's not ideal to have constant conversations online with other people. Once again though, I am not talking about a casual comment left on a blog or on Facebook, or sending someone a message because you have a question about something. I'm talking about full conversations, where you spend time talking to the other person.

    Personally, I would trust my husband, but at the same time, I wouldn't like having him talk to other women.

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  11. So what's the difference between online and, let's say, at work with a coworker?

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  12. Having personal conversations with a coworker at work isn't good either if it has nothing to do with the actual work.

    It's just that online you can talk at any time of day or night and it's easier to do so.

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  13. I agree with Inkstainedhands on this one. It says "Lo Tarba Sicha Im Haisha" which means not to talk too much to women, - other women.

    I've seen these conversations between married men and women that aren't married to each other, and you just get a feeling that something isn't right. They can be doing it innocently and with pure intentions in mind, but still if it has flirting in it, it shouldn't be done.

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  14. Babysitter - You can have a conversation with someone of the opposite sex without flirting with them.

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  15. Jessica: right, but when it turns to flirting then I don't think its right. Like when they tease each other and compliment each other, it just seems to me as though their too close.

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  16. The poll has closed with interesting results.

    Mind husband talking 10 (31%)
    Don't mind husband talking 6 (18%)
    Mind wife talking 6 (18%)
    Don't mind wife talking 10 (31%)

    Men are more trusting.

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  17. That makes sense, the wives have more trust issues since the men are more likely to cheat. Where the men can trust their wives because they know their more loyal. -- I know that can be a bit biased.

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