Sadistic Russian poetry

• Дети в подвале играли в больницу —
  Умер от родов сантехник Синицын.
  
  Kids in the basement were totally bored
  Decided to role play maternity ward
  Plumber Senitzin screamed for all he was worth
  Died he, unfortunately, while giving birth
  
• Дети в подвале играли в гестапо —
  Зверски замучен сантехник Потапов.
  
  Kids in the basement were playing Gestapo.
  Tortured to death was plumber Potapov.

Gun Control Brooklyn

There's a great website, spotcrime.com, which emails you every day about crimes committed within 5 miles of your address. NYC (New York City) already had one of the toughest gun control laws thanks to Bloomberg, which has been made even worse by Cuomo and Joseph Lentol Stalin. Cuomo decided that 10 rounds is too many for the common people and guns should only have 7 bullets. Being the idiot that he is, he also forgot to exempt cops. He also made up his own assault weapons ban which is even stricter than the federal one, even though less than 1% of all murders have been committed using assault weapons.
So far, the only thing that has effectively prevented gun related deaths in NY is the cold weather of 2013. A record of 0 deaths in a whole week.

There's a severe lack of up to date statistical data, especially about crimes committed using firearms but without fatalities. Let's see how well criminals obey the law. Out of plain laziness, I will only post those firearm related crimes which are emailed to me by spotcrime.

The right of the people to weaponize their kitchen, shall not be infringed.

Though these may be illegal in United States' public schools, they're not yet banned by Obama. And best of all, amazon will ship them to New York City.

First we have this 12 round AK-47 magazine from Southern Homewares.  A single-sided entry level choice for those on a budget. Personally, I wouldn't get this. It's more than 10 rounds and will soon be banned and is made of flimsy material.

My preferred choice is this 10 round AK-47 magazine. Still legal even with Obama's plans for world domination. Though if you live in New York, courtesy of Comrade Cuomo and Joseph Lentol Stalin, you may need to permanently block three holes. Now, while this is a bit expensive, it's made of quality material and is double sided ensuring proper bullet retention. Get two or three of these to ensure you don't run out of bullets at a critical time.

Need to send a message? These 12 gauge shot glasses will deliver it for you. Plastic, with a metal base, these come in a pack of four. Need more, buy two, just remember that using more than 5+1 at once is illegal.

Bringing friends? This Fred & Friends Freeze Handgun-Shaped Ice-Cube Tray will make sure you and two to five of your friends are armed and ready for action. Comes with a handy carrying handle.

All this talk of gun control bringing you down? Stick it to the man and leave him shitfaced with this Obama toilet paper from Big Mouth Toys. If you can't personally impeach him, at least you can flush him down the toilet.